he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
i wish my penis had a tongue
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
