hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
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