i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
