So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
