dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
