remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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