you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
