I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
