Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Randomize
