Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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