Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
