This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
