i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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