it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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