Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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