i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
