i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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