i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
