You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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