im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
