so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
