I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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