My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Nicole vs. Life
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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