I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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