So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
