So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Too much gin, very little bucket
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
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