Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
