okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I just blew my weed a kiss
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Randomize
