Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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