You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Randomize
