Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize