She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
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