Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
ugly people sure do ruin things
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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