She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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