Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
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