More tranny stories later!
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
