Can Purell be used as lube?
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
