It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
