She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
