Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
