Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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