got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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