but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Randomize
