Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
