does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
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