Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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