Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
