i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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