he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
