I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
