he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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