I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Randomize