thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
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