I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Randomize
