Your face is a jimmy john
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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