it wasn't lemon gatorade
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
