i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I have fence marks all over my body
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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