I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Walk of Shame today included voting.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
