what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
