Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
