Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Randomize
