He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
