On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
