Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
