Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
